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Rosemary (Santos) Aguilar is Director of Curriculum and Staff Development.

I think that we are fortunate to be in a partnership with Ball right now, because they have helped us go through the budget crisis. Our district, as we know it, has been — I do not want to say destroyed — but pretty much decimated in the sense that it is going through some difficult changes.

At this point, we are in the process of rebuilding, and part of that rebuilding is creating a strong foundation on which to build. I think that this year Ball has been very instrumental in helping us build that new foundation by helping us see new ways of working, new ways of thinking, new ways of designing.

The new way we are working is more organic. We are more relaxed. We are more concerned now with the content and the quality of the conversations, and we have allowed ourselves the time to think, to share, to question; whereas in the past, that was not really the practice.

We do not know what next year is going to look like. We have some ideas, but they are changing every week. Part of what we have had to deal with is the uncertainty and being okay with the fact that we do not know. I personally have not been told what my role for next year will be. However, it is okay, because I know I am going to be part of the new Rowland. Therefore, whatever role I end up in, I feel that it is going to be a place in which I will be able to continue to grow and develop as a professional.

We all respond to change differently. The fear in change is not knowing or not having the information or the knowledge about the change. The fear is based on the unknown. I think that is the piece. That is the bloodline that Ball is giving us, because they are constantly talking to us about the change process, about how it is chaotic and it is uncertain. Therefore, instead of just experiencing all the confusion, the chaos, the uncertainty, and not having anyone, Ball staff is telling us, “It’s okay. This is what happens. You are going to feel this way. These reactions are normal.”

If it were not for the Ball staff, I do not know that I would be able to say what I’m saying. I don’t know that I would be as hopeful. You know how when somebody is not doing well and cannot take care of himself or herself that they actually need somebody else to help them through those hard times? That is how I see Ball for us.

The next two years are going to be important because they are going to create the foundation of the new Rowland. I see Ball playing a very important and critical role as our partners in this process. Our critical friends – that is what they are – critical friends.

I am very hopeful for our district, because we have to go through this. We don’t have a choice, but we’re in good hands with the Ball Foundation.

Word cloud created at wordle.net.

Arlene Cardenas is a parent academic advisor at Hurley Elementary School.

When I came here to Hurley, I had just spent seven years of life working for the Internal Revenue Service. I was coming back to teaching because I had taught before, starting as a volunteer parent, then as an instructional aide, and then I went to college and became a preschool teacher. By that time, I was divorced with three kids. When I first finished college, the preschool didn’t have any teaching positions open, so I became the parent-trainer coordinator. I did that for a year until a teaching position opened up. I taught for a while, and then was recruited to teach 4th grade at Loma Vista School. The beauty of that position was that there wasn’t a single student in my class who hadn’t gone to preschool with me. So, it was a script for, “Everybody’s going to win here because you know me,” and I knew the parents. It was a beautiful experience.

Unfortunately, as a single parent, I had three kids – two in high school already – and every summer I was struggling to make ends meet. I saw that the IRS was hiring, so I decided to go out on a limb and try that. I got picked up and thought, “Well, I’ll do this just for a while until the kids grow up,” but then I did really well. I was teaching new auditors how to audit and I hated it. I hated every day that I went to work. But I made the best of it.

It wasn’t until one summer after I had remarried and the kids were out of the house that I went to a conference in Spain with my husband who teaches at Cal State Fullerton. I attended all these workshops with these women who had their doctorates and were doing exciting things in education. I began to wonder, “What the hell am I doing at the IRS?” which I hated with a passion. How excited can you get about Mexican exemption cases?

By the time we left the conference and were traveling down to Granada, I told my husband, “You know what? I think I’m going to make the move. I’m going to go back to teaching.” I was in my 40s at that time. I said, “I’m going to be working for a long time and I want to go back to what my passion is.” By the time we got to Granada, I had made my decision. I figured the majority of my time is spent at work and I’ve got to have a passion for it. And I have always had the passion of working with kids because I’m a firm believer that they have absolutely no voice at home, at school, wherever.

I remember my own traumatic upbringing in the schools. I came from a school like this, and all it took was one teacher to really instill in me that I could be more than I thought I could be. It was my 6th grade teacher. She believed so much in me and was the only positive influence in my life at that time. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it only takes one teacher to make a difference – and that was what happened with me. Up until that point, I had had a horrible experience in school.

I started school in Kentucky in 1951 or ‘52. My dad was in the military, and since there wasn’t a school on the base, I had to go to school across the border in Tennessee. When I was a young kid, I was a lot darker skinned. I had jet-black hair and looked very, very Mexican – only there were no Mexicans in Kentucky or Tennessee. The teachers didn’t know what to do with me, especially because I had a sister who was white (my dad was half Irish, but my mom was 100% Mexican). When I started first grade, I was put into a 1st and 2nd grade combination class. My sister was in my class, only she was in 2nd grade. And sure enough, they seated me with the black students. The white students were up front, including my sister, and I was in the back with the black kids. The black students looked at me because they could tell I wasn’t black. They thought maybe I was a “high yeller” which is what they called people with mixed blood. “Well, maybe she’s that,” they thought because my hair was curly, but it wasn’t kinky, and I was really dark.

I also had to sit with the black students in the cafeteria. My mom always packed two burritos in one bag for my sister and me, and I would go over to where my sister was sitting with the white kids, get my burrito, and go back. I didn’t question it because I was a child. My sister was just sitting there like it was the most natural thing that I was sitting in that section. She probably thought I had been bad. Also, when we took the bus, I went to the back of the bus while my sister sat up front.

Then my mom started noticing. Her English was limited, but she noticed that the way I spoke English and the way my sister spoke English was different. She asked, “What’s going on? How come Arlene speaks like that?” My sister said, “She sits with the –,” and at that time they used the “n” word. My mom went off on me, “Why are you sitting with those kids?” “Because they make me. I have to sit there. That’s my seat.”

So my dad went down to the school, and when he got there, no one believed that he was my dad because he doesn’t look like me. They said, “You must have adopted this child somewhere.” And my dad answered, “No, I’m her father.” Apparently he told them, “She is Mexican and she needs to be with her sister.” Well, it didn’t work because my friends were the black students so I’d just naturally gravitate to them. Plus, the white kids wouldn’t play with me anyway. They were already so ingrained. I also wouldn’t wear my shoes because none of my black friends wore them – they didn’t have any. To fit in as a child, you’re going to do what you have to. So, that was my first identity crisis.

By 4th grade, we had moved back to Tucson. My dad was out of the military, and we worked and lived on a ranch with my grandma. Of course, it was all Mexicano and everybody spoke Spanish. My sister and I had these southern twangs, and I spoke like someone out of Uncle Tom’s Cabin. We were bizarre kids.

Then we had to learn Spanish. We could understand it, but we couldn’t speak it because my mother wouldn’t allow us to speak Spanish at home. I went back to school, and I was so happy because I saw kids who were my color and spoke Spanish. When I tried to be friends with them, they would wonder where I had come from. “How come you talk like that? You talk funny. How come you don’t speak Spanish?” That kind of thing. So I quickly began to try and assimilate with them, and started speaking Spanish. I said, “Well, I’ve got to do this. This is where I fit.”

My school was 99% Latinos. We also had  kids coming in from Nogales, Mexico, because Tucson is close to the border. They didn’t speak any English, so the teacher would sit them in the back. These kids were huge with mustaches growing on them. They were older and their voices were changing. Because I was probably one of the only Mexicans in there who could speak English, the teacher would send me to the back of the classroom to teach these guys. They would say all these horrible, nasty little things to me, and I had to play teacher. I was robbed because I wasn’t keeping up with my studies and these guys weren’t paying attention.

My life at home was also very troubled because my parents became alcoholics. My mom was a domestic and cleaned houses for the rich Jewish enclave on the east side of Tucson. On the days when she had big houses to clean, she would pull me from school to go clean houses with her. So, I’d be on my hands and knees with my mom scrubbing and she’d encourage me by saying, “You know, when you grow up, you’re going to make a lot of money because you’re a very hard worker and you can get lots of houses to clean.” I was a very precocious child, and I remember being in a bathroom and scrubbing, thinking, “Hell no, I ain’t gonna do that.” But I wasn’t going to say anything to her because it was noble work. It was an honest dollar that she was earning.

The sad part is that she would take me even if it was a test day at school, and I can remember that I wouldn’t eat because we didn’t take lunches. The lady that we were cleaning for was supposed to provide us with lunch. I remember this one lady would give us a plate of her lunch leftovers like we were a couple of dogs. And my mother would look at it like, “They’re so nice to me and they don’t have to be.” And I’d say, “Why not? Why don’t they have to be nice to you, Mom? They should be nice to you. You clean their house.” “Yeah, but they pay me.” “Yeah, but they could still be nice to you.” Then she’d get mad at me because I always had to question. I was very, very consciously aware of my surroundings and what was going on. I think that’s where I developed my sense of what’s right and what’s wrong.

My mom and I would have to take several buses to get to the houses we had to clean, and we used to go by the University of Arizona. I was in 4th grade, and I remember seeing this huge red, really nice building, and I’d ask my mom, “What is that building?” And she’d say, “Don’t even think about it. That’s the university. That’s where the rich people get to go to university,” like she was afraid of it. So I thought, “Guess I’ll never go there if we’re not rich and I’m on my way to go clean somebody’s floors.”

But then I got to 6th grade with Mrs. Jaeger. I’ll never forget her because I had never been treated with such respect and encouragement. She took a bunch of us to go sing at the university, and I can remember like it just happened yesterday. I saw girls with books walking on campus, and I thought, “Wow! It’s like what I read in True Confessions.” (I used to buy those True Confession books with titles like, I Was a Teenage Mother, or My Husband Beat Me. I had to hide them from my mother, but by reading them, I knew people lived in a different way.) So, I was at the university, and I thought, “One of these days, I’m going to go to a university.” It took me till I was 32 years old to get to my first university class. I had just finished junior college where I had gone only because my daughter’s preschool teacher dragged me there and made me sign up. She had said to me, “You’re going to do this because you have a knack for this and you can do it.” Then I transferred from the junior college to a 4-year institution. And I can remember that first night. I could not believe it. I stood in the middle of the quad and just cried, saying, “Man, if they could see me now, the ones in the barrio.” It took me a while, but I did it.

When I was in high school in the 60s, we weren’t really aware of things. I remember in 1963, my girlfriend and I were in a math class in the basement with the football players who couldn’t add. So we were showing them how to do math while the teacher was just sitting there, goofing around. Finally, we got upset and said, “You know what? We’re not going down there.” We knew that it was unfair for us to be in there. Of course, we got suspended, and what did our parents do? Beat the crap out of us for stirring up trouble. But it made a difference because somebody said, “You know what? They’re on to something. Let’s put them in another math class.” And they put us in consumer math where we learned how to write checks, how to balance our checkbooks, how to fill out a 1040a form. We were not tracked for college, but at least it was better than teaching those big old bozos down there.

I remember there was one teacher who was a real trailblazer, and she became the dean of girls – Ms. Urquides. She would chase us all the way to Nogales. A bunch of us girls stole a friend’s mother’s car to go to Nogales, and Ms. Urquides was right behind us. If it hadn’t been for her, none of us would’ve finished high school. But she said, “You’re going to go.” She even pulled me out from under the bed one time because I hadn’t gone to school. When my mom ran into her years later, she asked my mom, “How is that Arlene doing?” My mom answered, “She’s a bilingual teacher.” And Ms. Urquides said, “I knew she’d do something with her life.”

So this is my story – how I’ve ended up here. When I think of those situations, it always takes me back to how I felt as a child. Nobody would stick up for me. My parents wouldn’t because at that time, anything the school said was, “They’re right and you’re wrong.” There was no voice for us. The point is, if you have parents that have an inkling that you can do something better – that’s a huge part of education. Let’s say that my mother had been more educated. She probably would’ve said, “You know what? My daughter does get good grades. She’s always in trouble, but she does get good grades. I need to support that.” But she didn’t know that. So when I talk with my parents, I say, “When you see that your child has potential, it’s your job to fight for every ounce that you can get for your child. If you don’t do it, nobody’s going to do it.”

My whole thing about parent involvement is educating the parent. If you educate a mother, you educate a family. I really believe that because she is the strong one in the family most of the time. Culturally, a lot of these Latino women don’t have the language skills or the legal status. They’re trapped, and that’s a reality. People have to start dealing with what’s real.

When I start a class for parents, everybody comes for the first couple weeks. But pretty soon it starts to dissipate. When I ask what’s going on, I hear, “My husband says I can’t go.” But who am I to go in there and scare this marginal idiot? There are boundaries you really cannot cross. But by ingratiating myself to a lot of families, a lot of the fathers will allow it. By the same token, things do come up. It’s not that they don’t want to be educated. It’s just that they don’t always have the liberty to come on a regular basis. I think people that don’t understand this, come away thinking, “They’re not interested. They don’t care.” But they do. They value education. They want the best for their kids or they wouldn’t have come through that town or through the desert. The stories I’ve been told of what people have been through…

I think all of my history that I’ve just shared shows my commitment to parent involvement. And I don’t feel that we’re there. There are very few people that feel like I do and it’s probably because they can’t connect. I don’t know if it’s because a lot of people have different experiences. I’m not saying that you have to work in the field and know Cesar Chavez in order to connect, but I think that if you’ve never really been hungry, how do you know what it feels like? You can read and read and go through the empirical data, but unless that helps you to connect, what good is it?

It’s like that sometimes with young teachers who have not had children. One of the things that I’ve often said when I’ve mentored young teachers is, “Look, one think I ask is that you always respect the parents. When you’re talking to them about their children, you have to remember that that’s an extension of them. That’s a part of their body you’re talking about. And you don’t have the right to scold or disrespect them. Whether you think the parents are right or wrong, you’re still attacking them personally.” I always tell the parents that their child is with me only for a little while. They are always the first teacher. They taught their children how to talk and go to the bathroom, and to put on shoes. And when they come to school, my job is to teach them the curriculum.

I find that keeping that kind of perspective on things helps me keep it real. And then when I see the kids I had come back to me, it’s really interesting. Just this last year, I hosted a Hurley Homecoming and recruited kids that had graduated from Hurley and were now in college to come and talk. One gentleman in the audience came and told me Miguel was here. I was trying to remember Miguel, and then his little face came to mind.

The first year that I taught 3rd grade here at Hurley, my husband who is a professor at Cal State Fullerton came and read to the class. He talked about being a professor and what it took to get there. The kids were really interested in Cal State Fullerton, so my husband told them, “Well, maybe one day, you can come visit me,” meaning, “You’re going to come and go to school there.” Then later that year, I got some money to go on a field trip. I asked the kids where they wanted to go, and one kid said, “Let’s go see Dr. Cardenas at Cal State Fullerton.” I said, “Really? You guys don’t want to go to a museum or something?” “No, let’s go to Cal State.” I said, “All right. Let me find out if we can do that.” And I thought, “Oh my gosh, I remember how excited I was when I was taken to the U of A.”

That night I asked my husband, “What would it take to bring these kids to Cal State Fullerton?” And he said, “You know what? We can make this happen.” He happened to be involved in outreach. So I went to my principal and told him, “We’re going to have a day at college.” It was amazing. The PTA paid for the buses, the university paid to have t-shirts made for the kids that said, “I’m going to college.” There was an opening ceremony, and college students were the guides. The kids got to participate in a classroom in the computer science building and in the anthropology department. They saw where the kids live in the dorms and met some of the soccer players. It was such a success. We did that for ten years. It became a tradition. We eventually lost the funds for it, but this year we managed to start it up again.

So to go back to the Hurley Homecoming night – Miguel had been a student in the first class that went to Fullerton and now he is an architect in a firm in Brea. I went over to him and said, “You get on up there, Miguel, and you tell them how you did it.” And he got up there and spoke to the parents – the place was jam-packed – and he said, “I remember when Dr. Cardenas and Mrs. Cardenas took us to Cal State Fullerton, and I knew I could do that. My mom said, ‘I will help you,’ and my mom, no matter how tired I was and didn’t want to do my homework, would be on me. ‘If you want to go to that school, you’re going to go to that school.’”

Half of the teachers at this school graduated from Cal State Fullerton, and they were former students of my husband’s. Isn’t that neat? One went off to be a principal. He was so awesome. But those are the changes that have to be made. And these are kids that, at one point in time, were probably written off. “Oh, they’re not going anywhere.”

You’d be surprised how even in our world of teachers, we’re supposed to be a compassionate field, but it’s amazing that there are those that don’t see it that way. In the Ball Foundation World Cafés, I’ve come across that a lot in the district. A lot of times, I have to ask myself, “Do I want to get in on this battle?” And I don’t know. I look at the aids and say, “I’m not changing this person.” But if they’re young, recent graduates, there’s a chance. I’ve found that you don’t have to be Latino to be able to work with Latinos. You have to understand Latinos and want to help and be committed. I’m not professing that if you’re not brown, you can’t do it. No, I don’t believe that at all. I’ve seen too many non-Latinos be successful here.

I had an instructional assistant that went on to be a teacher. A blond, blue-eyed surfer guy. He was young and going to school, and he started seeing some of the things that I would talk to him about. Pretty soon, that guy was running around with Chicano power. I didn’t want to make him that radical, but he became so loved by the kids that when we would do self-portraits, they would color their hair blond and their eyes blue because they wanted to look like him. I told him, “You know that imitation is the best form of flattery. These guys love you.” He learned so much just by opening his eyes. He had a lot of respect from the kids and he went off to teach in another school with the same demographics – and he’s very successful.

But then I have another story about a teacher who was placed in a situation where there was no cultural understanding. My girlfriend did her student teaching in Compton in an all African-American classroom with an African-American teacher. One day, the teacher told her, “I want you to get up and dance with these kids. Teach them how to do the bunny hop.” So my friend got up and said to the kids, “We’re going to do the bunny hop, boys and girls. Come on.” And she put her hands by her chest like a bunny and said, “Let’s get like a bunny.” And the kids were just looking at her, so she started to sing and hop, “Here comes Peter Cottontail…” She looked back at the kids and nobody was following her. So she said, “Come on. Follow me. Here comes Peter Cottontail…”, and they wouldn’t dance. After about three tries, the teacher came over and said to my friend, “No, no honey. Sit down. This is the way you do it.” And the teacher starts to wildly shake her whole body and sing, “Oh, here come the bunny! Oh, here come the bunny up and down the lane…” and all the kids were following, dancing just like the teacher. My friend had no cultural connection to them, and she couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t follow her. She’d been there every day and the kids knew her, but that wasn’t their thing. Instead, the kids were looking at my friend like, “There couldn’t be no bunny like that.” When she told us that story, we were dying laughing because it is so true. I love that story because it really shows a cultural disconnect.

When I first started working with the Ball Foundation, I was in a fog, but then I started to see the big picture. I understood that they wanted to have a shift in paradigm, and I bought into it. Not right away, though. I even asked one of the Ball people, “What is it exactly that we’re going to get out of this?” But I’m on board if it means that we’re going to start what I call the “Cesar Chavez” approach, meaning that we’re going to start from the bottom. We’re going to work with the people who are on the front line – the teachers – who are crying all the time, “Everybody’s making decisions for us, but we’re the front liners. We should be the ones to show them.”

I remember telling Joann about a time when I was driving around with Cesar Chavez when he was at Cal State Fullerton, and he said to me, “The one thing when you’re working with people is you’ve got to give them an opportunity to tell you what it is they need and how they can go about it because they’re the ones that are doing the work. If you don’t, you have no credibility because you haven’t heard that voice.” I really believe that. And I think the Ball Foundation is trying to do that. They want to bring about change from the bottom up. I think the hardest thing is to get people to buy into it. But Ball really, really wants everyone’s voices because we keep going to these meetings and people aren’t getting it. You can tell they’re not because they’re not participating. And I think it’s because of attitude. A lot of people are already in their comfort zone, and if you’re not the kind of person who likes change…But I think the goal of the Ball Foundation and the district is good, and the way they’re going about it is good because times have changed and people have to learn to change.

I do still feel that the parent component is not given the weight that it should be in this process. I know that Strategy 6 of the strategic plan has to do with parent involvement, but I still haven’t had the interaction with people about how to encourage it. Every time I go to these meetings, I feel like asking, “What’s happening with parent involvement?” I’ve gone to the Network Days and put up my interest in creating a Community of Practice around parent involvement, and there was only one woman who was interested. But I will not give up. I will be there. The next day is a new day. If the good Lord lets me have a new day, I’m going to try it again. I am so persistent that I figure if you keep knocking me down and I keep getting up, eventually you’re going to get tired of knocking me down and I’ll be up.

I really thought that by working with the Ball Foundation, I was going to be building a network and share all this because somebody over there might be doing something that I don’t know about that I could implement over here, and vice versa. So my hope with the Ball Foundation still is to be part of a network that works together and does research about what really works because I don’t have all the answers. But we’re going to see what really works, knowing that in your community it might not work because you might have the Asian community, and you may have a heck of a lot more money and more involved parents.

I think the Foundation really needs to make parent involvement a priority because it’s not being highlighted. That’s my main concern. If you’re going to have a shift in paradigm, that means you’re bringing in the parents.

Word cloud created at wordle.net.

Martha Dickey is a fifth grade writing teacher at Hollingworth Elementary School.

I’ve been leading trainings for our writing program, and the Ball work syncs with what I’ve been doing as far as sharing ideas, not being leader-centered, and trying to collaboratively solve problems. Before I became a teacher, I worked for the Saturn car company where they do extensive training of the employees. They taught us that in a group, 70% of the people have the power to influence the other 30%. And I think that’s how the collaboration process that Ball has been doing with us works. It’s the 70% who are collaborating that convince the other 30% that this is a good thing, everything will work out. It’s like on the playground: A student who goes up to a child and says, “Stop being a bully” is more effective than a teacher coming out and saying, “Stop being a bully.”

I also see a parallel between this collaboration work with Ball and the turmoil that we happen to be in right now financially. We have to get creative, and we’ve got to stop looking for one person with answers – be it a president or a principal. We’ve really got to come together somehow. The world cafés we’ve done have been structured, but in a very inviting and casual way. We’ve been able to share ideas and get a glimpse of what collaboration can do. But it’s intimidating, too, because it’s making us realize that we’ve all got to step up a little bit more and be willing to give even though teaching already takes so much of us.

I think the biggest thing that I took from the Immersion Day was the opportunity to speak with principals and people from other schools. It’s kind of like you don’t know how somebody else mows their lawn until you spend time in their backyard. By talking with educators in other schools, you learned more about their successes and concerns. Despite the community or location of the school, we all have areas to improve upon.

The Immersion Day also allowed us to get to know teachers at other schools so we’re not as hesitant to approach them. Our eyes were opened to the fact that we are all a resource for each other. We just need to tap into that resource and take responsibility to actually do that. There have been many exchanges of phone numbers and e-mails, and whether or not people have followed through, I can’t tell you – but at least that door has been opened.

I think a big common question is, “Why do we keep doing this?” My response to that is, “I don’t think that’s something we can answer now.” It’s like when you go fishing and maybe you’ll catch a catfish and maybe you won’t, but it’s more about taking the time to explore a little bit and see what you find. Not everybody is comfortable with this process, but it’s what we need now because we have to be creative problem solvers. To fish you have to be patient, but this is a long process – and that’s where we’re losing a lot of our fishermen. They don’t want to wait it out. We’ve got to navigate through all the problems, and at the same time, feel good about our teaching. The bait, of course, also makes a difference. And our bait is keeping a strong focus on what is going to be best for our students. My hope is at the end we’ve found something that works and is tangible and substantial.

Word cloud created at wordle.net.

Zenaida Morales is a resource specialist teacher at Northam Elementary School.

As part of the restructuring of the district, the Special Education Department has had to come up with its own plan for restructuring. I’ve been part of the design team that created this plan, and we just presented it today. It was an emotional experience, but with a lot of positive feeling. I almost cried today because I was feeling so happy to see our work of weeks and months and long hours come together. The plan shows our general education colleagues, our administrators, and our leadership how we’re going to be delivering services to the students – not just special ed students, but to all students. The plan also shows how we’re going to work together and how the department should always function, even when the funding gets better.

When I first got on this design team, I had a lot of frustration and anxiety. I was worried for the department. I felt that we weren’t going to be able to pull it together because everyone had their own interest in mind. Through the Ball Foundation’s support and assistance, we were able to get some guidance and structure for better communication and how to address the issues for everybody involved. They guided us as to how we should speak to each other, remaining sensitive and respectful of each other’s ideas. Parameters were laid out for us on how we should behave. Everyone commented on how well organized this process was, how everything flowed so easily. They all noticed the difference between the Ball Foundation meetings and other meetings where they’re not involved.

The focus of the design group became our students, and how they would benefit from us working as a team. I didn’t see in the beginning how this was going to come together because for so long, we’ve been working by ourselves, in our class with our students, with separate ideas and beliefs. But I saw and felt the group come together. I feel very confident about what we put together. My anxiety and nervousness changed to confidence and assurance that we’re going to do a good job.

I’ve experienced a shift in how I work with people as a result of this process. I think I’m a lot more patient. I want to hear what everyone has to say, and I think I speak from a more sensitive place. I’m able to guide myself through the process that I’ve learned from the Ball Foundation.

It’s been a great experience working with the Ball Foundation. I developed a new way of processing information by collaborating with colleagues from diverse groups. I’m more inclined to work in a team as opposed to by myself in order to best service our students. It’s welcomed me into new opportunities, such as team teaching which is something that we’re planning to do next year. Now I’m not going to be doing it all by myself. Instead, I’m going to actually work with colleagues to service my students. So, that will be wonderful.

Word cloud created at wordle.net.

Debbie Nason is a second grade teacher at Killian Elementary School.

I have appreciated the Ball Foundation’s willingness to help us out as a district, and am excited that we were chosen for the partnership. I’ve also appreciated the different dinner meetings that I’ve gone to where we had the open discussions about practices. It was a great way to network with other people and hear about things that you don’t always hear about at your own school site.

I got a couple of “ahas” at the Immersion Day that I went to in December. The first “aha” that really made a difference was realizing our hands are tied by state mandates. There are a lot of things that we know are right and that we should be doing, but it’s a huge challenge to work around what you have to do and what you want and know is right to do. Understanding that answered the question about why I feel stymied in my language arts instruction: it’s because I have to get through so much to teach to the standards, so I forget the fun stuff and the good stuff that are better instructional tools for language arts. It made me think back to years ago when we had the Whole Language vs. Phonics issue and we were told, “No one ever told you not to teach phonics.” That message wasn’t clearly understood, and that fed into the frustration I’d felt for years, thinking I couldn’t do what I knew was right. So, an example of one “aha” for me was that even though our hands are tied with the restrictions of testing, wouldn’t it be great to test in a different way? I thought, “Yeah, let’s design something.”

Having this understanding, though, hasn’t changed my practice enough yet. I think the knowledge is there, but there’s still a struggle. I’ll give you an example: Small group reading instruction is vitally important for 2nd graders and I know that’s how you reinforce and practice comprehension skills at this level. My frustration is both the time factor of it and what to do with the other students. I’ve made a few changes, but I don’t know that I feel good about it yet. Part of me is thinking, “What can I do differently next year to start building in more responsibility with the kids from day one? What kinds of activities can I do that are more participation to practice rather than product-producing?” The other part that is difficult for me is finding the books to use with the students. I did write a FOR US grant last year and got a lot of books, but they’re really only good for one group of kids. Other things also get in the way, like the district reading test we have to give the kids and also the more needy students who take up so much of my time. We are lucky here in this district that we don’t have to give as many assessments as some other districts do, but still, it takes time and sometimes that’s my chance to pull kids up and work with them individually. So the part I need to improve is making that 30 minutes of small group reading instruction just as sacred as the 20 minutes of calendar or the 45 minutes of math

The other “aha” I got from the Immersion Day meeting was that you can’t make people want to be involved in this change process. This was a huge “aha” because my frustration with some of my fellow teachers is that I don’t understand why they don’t get it. Why do they not want to learn more? I always think there is more to learn, there is more to gain, and more to grow. My analogy for this is if I were to go in for surgery, would I want the doctor to be using techniques from 20 years ago, or would I want a current up-to-date doctor? I liken that to teaching. We need to be as current as we can, and while we can’t be changing all the time, we need to have some ways to take in a little bit of new learning – plug it in, try it, and then move on.

A lot of teachers asked me after the December Immersion Day how bad it was. You know, I didn’t think it was bad, but I went in with a different attitude. I think a lot of the teachers did end up liking it, but they were in that leery state of, “What am I going to have to do?”

The Network Day in March was great when we broke up into the small inquiry groups. There were so many choices and I thought, “I want to go to this one over here that’s about small group reading and differentiation.” But I should have been a bee and buzzed off somewhere else rather than staying there because I picked up really quickly that the leader was trying to make it a “problem-solution” time instead of a time to share with others. Those of us who were in the group tried to offer up other things to share, and I thought, “You know, I’m spending more time being Positive Polly than being part of a real discussion. I’m really not getting much out of this.” I should have gotten up and left, but I didn’t. That was my choice. I did mention this to [Rowland Ball liaison] JoAnn [Lawrence] a couple days later and she said, “Oh, no. That’s not what it should have been.”

Even though that first Network Day wasn’t a great experience, I came back in May to another Network Day because I wanted to learn more. I think there are a lot of possibilities out there, but I think you have to realize that this is going to be helpful, and not let it be a complaining session. Instead, it’s a chance to share what you know, what you have read, what you have heard, what you have seen. Most of our staff development is in-district and there is so much more out there that we don’t know about. It’s been great having our own staff development, but also limiting. So it’s been very exciting to have these outside opportunities through Ball.

I know the overall intent with the Ball Partnership is to find what’s working within the district.

And I think that’s true because there are a lot of good things going on, but we don’t know about them. I know the teachers who teach on the other side of the tracks in the tougher, lower economic schools are doing a lot of things that have been successful, but we don’t know anything about those things because we’re working with kids who come in with a lot of tools. It’s a whole different situation with those kids who have limited or no tools at all.

Overall, I think what I learned about myself is that I desire to learn and others maybe don’t, and that not everybody thinks the same way I think. Not everybody sees things the way I see them.

Word cloud created at wordle.net.

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